Ladies and gentlemen, thank you again for coming out. This campaign is not just about electing a president. It’s about starting a political revolution that puts power back into the hands of everyday Americans! And we will send a message to the millionaires and billionaires that they can’t have it all – this country belongs to everyone! And with that said, before you leave here tonight, we need everyone to put away a chair. It would really make the clean up at the end of the event go much smoother.
I want to make it known that this campaign is not over. Not by a long shot! While it’s still an uphill battle, we had many wins on Super Tuesday, and those are going to push us all the way to the nomination, and then the White House! But before that, don’t forget to put away one chair – it could be your own chair, or someone else’s, it doesn’t matter – just make the effort to do your part. This request to put a chair away, it’s not just about what the venue wants us to do. It’s just about doing the right thing, and sharing the load, and working together.
And let me be clear, on this and other issues: there are racks in the hallway in the back. That’s where the chairs go. Don’t just bring them out to that area and leave them. The chairs need to go on the racks. That’s part of putting a chair away. If somebody is there putting all the chairs on the rack, and people are just passing the chairs to them, that’s fine if that’s what they want to do. I just don’t want there to be chairs left stacked along the walls and not up on the racks.
The fact is, we are all in this together. And together, we will work to make college free and make healthcare a right. And we will make sure we leave this arena in the same condition it was when we got here. So I’m not just asking for your vote, but that you also pick up some scraps from the floor. If everyone picked up five scraps, we’d have this place looking really nice for whoever’s gonna use it next. I think it’s some kind of a big band concert or something that’s after us.
It’s about time the United States looked to countries like Denmark and Sweden, where every citizen is guaranteed a living wage, a paid vacation, and a decent job. These are countries that are very tidy, too: I was at a town hall in Frederiksværk once, and they had the place cleaned up and put away in 10 minutes. These are the kind of values we can bring to this country.
This campaign is nowhere near over: we have a lot to go still if we’re going to transform Washington. Tonight’s event, however, is almost done, so if some people wanted to get a head start on leaving, taking a chair with you, now’s a good time. Just a few people, so we’re not all leaving at once. You know how that is.
For everyone else, let me conclude with saying that I am the only candidate without ties to Wall Street and big money donors. And that’s because this is not just a campaign, it’s a political revolution that is bringing people together, and you can count on me fight for the working people of this country!
…and we could also use some help folding up and carrying a few tables to the back hallway. That’s a different place than where the chairs go, so if you are carrying a table and find yourself where the chair racks are, then you’re in the wrong place.